This, I will make short and sweet. I have already taken up enough of your time with my sill ramblings about my boyfriend. However, this one is different. This is for him, at a future date. When I can actually enjoy the moment, and bask in the afterglow of a job well-done. This is for when he finally has a place of his own without nosy parents to peek in, and we make it our own. This is for how much I love him, not you the reader. This is for every wrong I've ever done him. This is for everything we do right, but mostly for everything he does right.
My love, I just want you to know that this week, you have done so much that repaired my doubts and confusion about our relationship. You shouldn't worry. I knew I loved you. I was just confused as to the exact nature of my love. I had misgivings about whether or not you would be able to pull through. When all along I should have been worrying about me: what could I change to be better suited to you. The answer was to expect nothing. I'd built up all these expectations of what I thought you should be, and when I crumbled those, started living my own life, you became more than I could have hoped for. This week, you have had four incidents that made me want you so badly. First, when you told me you were planning on surprising me by coming home. You know I always love it when you make a special trip just to see me...and you told your MOM! :D Then, you told me you were going to take me out on Saturday. You made a special plan just for the two of us, after we hang out with friends during the day. I even liked that you got upset at me for trying to guess the restaurant. A day later, I find out a dear friend may plan a Christmas cocktail party, so I asked if you'd be interested in attending. You gave the best answer-an answer that no other guy I have hung out with would give: "Honestly, I would be interested in going anywhere with you." God, it made me tear up again! Seriously, someone must be following me with that invisible stinking onion. And last, but certainly not least, I was worried that tonight we would not be able to talk on the phone before I passed out from exhaustion. You assured me that "it should be easy to give [me] that call." Dang it, man! You have got the moves this week. Maybe its just because I am not PMS'ing this week, or the whole surprise has gotten me in a tremendously good mood. Whatever the reason, you have said all the right things this week. And I love you for that. I think that if we can have moments like this interspersed when I am feeling doubtful, I could live with that. You gave me exactly what I needed. Like always. :) You just come in at exactly the right moment, ever time. And I love you for that, too.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Forget What I Said Before
Sometimes, I have these moments where I realize I am a complete idiot when it comes to relationships. As is the case with the man I love. I was rereading my previous post, and I was reminded just why I love blogging so much. The previous post was discussing how my beloved and I do not communicate well, nor do we have a firm friendship. Well, what the fuck was I thinking? Of course we have a friendship. Why else would we get along so well? Not many people can sit and listen to someone talk about cars for hours at a time, or even printing. SO, I have been convinced again of my love for this man.
It is so funny to me how easily my mind was changed. I was sitting at work (in which I get paid to do absolutely nothing, so I am forced to be a bad employee), reading a blog about how to be your own boyfriend. If you are interested, the blog is crazygirlnation.com. The specific post I was reading was describing ways a woman can prevent herself from becoming too reliant on a man. Just what I needed considering my previous state of emotions. Well, to be honest, that post perked me right up! I was feeling great. I even ignored him for the most part of a day on Friday. I didn't ask to be called, nor did I offer to call him the whole weekend, so we went without a phone call for about three consecutive days. Come Monday night, when we finally talked, I was bragging about how I had plans for 4 consecutive weekends that involved all girlfriends. I am still pretty proud of myself for that one. He asked what my plan for this Friday was and I told him: I'm going to a play with a couple of my former roommates, which may possibly turn into a slumber party afterwards for old times' sake. I don't know if he got jealous, or if he just really missed me; he told me "Well, I am coming home this weekend. I was going to surprise you, but I didn't want you to make plans for the whole weekend." The boy who never wanted to make plans with me has transformed into a man of my dreams!
Not only did he make plans to surprise me, which he told his mother about! He also made plans to take me geocacheing (which, as many of my friends may have guessed, is not my favorite activity, but I can find enjoyment in it because I know he likes it a lot), and after he is taking me to a surprise dinner. However, he has greatly underestimated my ability to pry information from him and my deductive reasoning skills, because I am pretty sure I have figured out where he is to take me for our dinner. :) He still has not realized that it is difficult to surprise a math major. But to be fair, I told him I wouldn't ask him any more about it, in hopes that it truly will be a surprise. He worked so hard on it, I don't want to ruin it!
So ladies, the point of this post is to apologize to him without him knowing it, AND I also want you to know that with a little bit of change you can accomplish heaps of things. All I had to do was change my attitude and perspective on my relationship; suddenly, I am getting exactly what I wanted! I do like to say the easiest way to get something you want is to perform a selfless act for someone else. Which, out of context makes no sense, whatsoever. I had someone call me out on it. But if you forget about wanting something, and just compromise, things get accomplished. Just remember, your S.O. is not perfect, but neither are you. There are things that maybe you need to change about yourself, before you can expect things to change in your relationship.
Well, that is my relationship advice for....forever. I hate giving relationship advice. Just go read truewifeconfessions.com. That will make you feel so much better about yourself, and your spouse/S.O. Also, things like crazygirlnation.com make good, short advice columns. Especially when your boss hires you to do nothing but answer 25 phone calls in eight hours.
It is so funny to me how easily my mind was changed. I was sitting at work (in which I get paid to do absolutely nothing, so I am forced to be a bad employee), reading a blog about how to be your own boyfriend. If you are interested, the blog is crazygirlnation.com. The specific post I was reading was describing ways a woman can prevent herself from becoming too reliant on a man. Just what I needed considering my previous state of emotions. Well, to be honest, that post perked me right up! I was feeling great. I even ignored him for the most part of a day on Friday. I didn't ask to be called, nor did I offer to call him the whole weekend, so we went without a phone call for about three consecutive days. Come Monday night, when we finally talked, I was bragging about how I had plans for 4 consecutive weekends that involved all girlfriends. I am still pretty proud of myself for that one. He asked what my plan for this Friday was and I told him: I'm going to a play with a couple of my former roommates, which may possibly turn into a slumber party afterwards for old times' sake. I don't know if he got jealous, or if he just really missed me; he told me "Well, I am coming home this weekend. I was going to surprise you, but I didn't want you to make plans for the whole weekend." The boy who never wanted to make plans with me has transformed into a man of my dreams!
Not only did he make plans to surprise me, which he told his mother about! He also made plans to take me geocacheing (which, as many of my friends may have guessed, is not my favorite activity, but I can find enjoyment in it because I know he likes it a lot), and after he is taking me to a surprise dinner. However, he has greatly underestimated my ability to pry information from him and my deductive reasoning skills, because I am pretty sure I have figured out where he is to take me for our dinner. :) He still has not realized that it is difficult to surprise a math major. But to be fair, I told him I wouldn't ask him any more about it, in hopes that it truly will be a surprise. He worked so hard on it, I don't want to ruin it!
So ladies, the point of this post is to apologize to him without him knowing it, AND I also want you to know that with a little bit of change you can accomplish heaps of things. All I had to do was change my attitude and perspective on my relationship; suddenly, I am getting exactly what I wanted! I do like to say the easiest way to get something you want is to perform a selfless act for someone else. Which, out of context makes no sense, whatsoever. I had someone call me out on it. But if you forget about wanting something, and just compromise, things get accomplished. Just remember, your S.O. is not perfect, but neither are you. There are things that maybe you need to change about yourself, before you can expect things to change in your relationship.
Well, that is my relationship advice for....forever. I hate giving relationship advice. Just go read truewifeconfessions.com. That will make you feel so much better about yourself, and your spouse/S.O. Also, things like crazygirlnation.com make good, short advice columns. Especially when your boss hires you to do nothing but answer 25 phone calls in eight hours.
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