Just Friends

     I have been thinking about the relationship I have with my beloved C, and I have decided that we started backwards. Most successful marriages seem to come from a long, hard-earned friendship before they turn into an intimate post-wedding life. But I am beginning to notice that our relationship did quite the opposite. When I met him for the first time, it was like we just clicked, so what was there to wait for? We jumped right into dating pretty much. I don't know if we were truly dating, but we acted like we were dating...or I did. I think I have pushed my beloved into a relationship far beyond what either of us needed.
    Now I must do the unthinkable and reverse time. I need to get us back to a point where we can work on our friendship. We kind of skipped that step! We argue and fuss all the time, and I strongly feel it is because I doubt his ability to be there for me when I need him. He isn't feeling the friendship part of being my love. And the same is true for me. I'm not even sure if I love him any more because we just fight so much. I knit-pick everything about our relationship! The easiest fix seems to be just reverting to a former stage in our relationship, much like a computer will revert to a previous saved setting to save itself.
     Our relationship has gone from being fun and free to being confining and prison like. I feel like I have to tell him I love him now because I have come to love his family, and in a sense I do love him. Things have just changed. I am starting to wonder how I truly feel about him. He is so predictable, and I don't like predictable things. My greatest wish is that he would sweep me off my feet. But everything is so cut and dry.
    Don't get me wrong, now. I think our personalities mesh very well, if not close to perfectly. It's just so frustrating that we aren't friends. It is so difficult to talk to him about anything. I don't really like to discuss things with him, but sometimes I feel that I want to; I want him to want to listen to me. But that is probably asking for too much. I want what I see that others have with their love. The best thing would be to just be friends for awhile, but I don't think he is going to take this very well.

The True Life of the American Teenager

                  As a parent, you are entitled to feelings of superiority on this issue; however, I beg you to hear me out. While I do not have children by blood, I do have friends in high school, and I would like to give them voices. You may feel that, as a parent, you are superior to your child. You know more than he/she could ever hope to know. This is certainly true, fore with age comes knowledge. In this world of unbounded technological advancement, though, it is important for you to keep up with what your child is exposed to. The media of the world is targeted towards young adults, these days, and I guarantee you it isn't painting an accurate picture of life.
               I have seen the shows "The Secret Life Of The American Teenager" to know that high school is being portrayed completely differently than what it really is. The teenage life on television is full of convenience and self centered compulsion! You may have noticed that there has been not only an increase in teen pregnancy, but a drastic drop in the age of teen pregnancies. This is probably because television, radio, and peers are all shoving sex in the faces of these teenagers as much as possible. You should be very worried about what your child is being exposed to! I mean, I grew up in an age where mini skirts and midriff tops were fashionable, so I can honestly say that sex appeal is the number one goal in high schools.
               To counter balance this, my suggestion is to converse with your child; take an active interest in his/her life and interests. I know this is the hardest step of being a parent. You don't want to be too controlling, and how do you stay interested when all he/she wants to reply are one word answers? Well, that is solely up to you. But don't fret. Just maintain good parenting skills. Keep up with them, no matter what. One day, your children will greatly appreciate it; I know I have. Besides, studies have shown that parents that keep a good balance of discipline and interest are far more likely to have successful children.

              Speaking of successful children, another problem in high school is the constant barrage of cliquey segregation and self deprecating images. Your child will possible be discouraged by the way he/she is not socially accepted into one group of friends or another. Make sure you know more than your fair share about what people your child interacts with. Assure your child that he/she is beautiful, and compliment him/her. Don't fail to point out the good things your child has going for him/her. Also, please, parents, please make sure you set him/her straight on what high school is really about. Make sure your child knows that high school is not about friends. It is preparing you for further education and the work force, just like in the old days. If your child has time to worry about what the other children are wearing, then maybe he/she needs some encouraging words from a family friend. Let your child know that the clothes you wear and the friends you have will all go in and out of fashion, grow old, and leave you on your own one day. What is truly important are the decisions your children make about their education. Encourage your child to look to the future. Maybe get him/her to sign up for volunteer programs, join an honor society, etc. Don't focus too much on grades, because type A children can have major psychological issues, but focus on what he/she can do now to prepare him/her for the future. Above all, just maintain that parental encouragement. That is the best thing you can do for your child. Don't push them into a corner, but definitely know their strengths and weaknesses.

               All of this being said, I know it makes little sense to listen to what I say. I am simply a college grad. What do I know about parenting?? Absolutely nothing. I only know from hindsight what I think I could have used more of as a teenager. A child needs multiple hands to guide him/her because there are many more hands pushing him/her in the wrong directions. That's why I say you should recruit friends and family as mentors. As well as coaches, leaders, etc. Just know where you stand as your child's only defense from the cruel world, and most of all learn from others' mistakes. Thank you for your time. I hope you find this blog insightful, if not enjoyable.

It's A Jungle Out There

     For about four months, now, I have been searching desperately for a job. I had no idea what I wanted to do, at all. I applied for just about every job that I met the requirements for. Most of you recent graduates know exactly what I'm talking about when I say that this new economy sucks! There are absolutely no good jobs available. So I prayed and I prayed...And I prayed some more. I prayed that I'd find a job. I prayed that the job would find me. And finally, I prayed that the job would just fall in my lap. After all my many prayers, I started thinking about what I really wanted to do with my life. And I decided that I wanted to go back to school. Who is the best company to work for when you want your company to pay for grad school? A college/university, of course!
      I began applying for any university jobs I could. A college close by was exceptionally desirable, so I applied for all that met that requirement. One day, I was especially disinterested in the job search, but I resolved myself to look and apply for just ONE job that I thought sounded especially interesting. That's exactly what I did. See, when I set a goal, I feel the need to meet that goal. Usually, I don't put time limits on my goals, though. haha! Anyways, I found a job at a university near my home for an office services specialist. It sounded perfect. You just needed a GED and a year of experience. A college grad should certainly be able to meet those standards, right? Yes! So, I applied.
      Well, weeks went by of searching for other jobs. Applying for jobs with companies I knew nothing about. It got tiresome. I had basically given up. Months went by. I was exhausted! It is really terrible when you apply for over a hundred jobs and some of them don't even have the decency to tell you they aren't interested. And on top of that, it's very painful when company after company says "We regret to inform you that further consideration can not be extended at this time." What does that even mean?? I qualified for the job, but you can't even give me a chance? Trust me, there were many nights where colorful language was used towards said companies.
       Every day, I continued to check my email, only to be disappointed; until, finally. I got some positive news. And guess which job it was from! You got that right, the office services specialist, which only paid $8.50 an hour. It wasn't anything that I was super excited about when I applied, but after all the rejections, an interview for a barely above minimum wage job sounded like Nirvana! So I emailed the manager back informing her of when I was available for an interview.
      At the interview, I arrived about 25 minutes early, dressed in my dark pantsuit (in 95 degree weather). I had applied my make up in the car, and I could feel it melting on my face as I sat nervously reading a Good Parenting magazine. Several employees passed me, and I smiled politely, giving them a courteous nod of the head. Then, she walked up. The angel of my dreams! A bright, friendly woman called out "Cayman? Hi, I'm Shelly." I grasped her hand and dumbfounded, I introduced myself. As if she didn't know my name. She escorted me to her office where I took a seat and awaited the barrage of questions. I was not prepared for what came next.
      She asked me about my skills and my weaknesses. She asked me what I had to offer the university. I mean, it was pretty typical as far as what I'd heard interviews were supposed to be. She asked me if I had any questions. I reviewed my list of questions I had for her, and checked them off as I asked. The really weird part, the part I wasn't prepared for, was how well we got along. I felt more like I was discussing a potential best friend rather than a potential job. That, I felt, had to be a good sign.
     When the interview was over, an hour and a half later, I thanked her and she explained that it would be a few weeks before I heard anything. The first choice would be notified, then background checks would begin. So I went home, and I prepared to be turned down once again. I went back at my job search with added fervor. Then, I prayed. I prayed that no job offers that would hinder His progress would come available or write me back. And sure enough, I didn't get a single affirmative email or phone call after that interview. I continued to pray and wait, wait and pray. It was exhausting, again.
       The Wednesday after Labor Day, I was sitting at my computer writing a blog. I was very proud of my blog. I felt good. I was just complaining to a friend about how the job was taking too long to respond back. That I must not have been the first choice. She assured me that it was probably just taking a long time because of the weather; not to mention, Labor Day weekend probably didn't help. Then, my phone started vibrating. I assumed it was a text. Then on the fourth buzz, I realized it was a call. So I ran to pick it up. Unrecognized number! Could it be? I pick up. "Hello?" "Hello. I'm looking for Cayman," the voice said, distantly. "This is she." Silence. "Hello?" "Hi," the voice said, closer now, "Is this Cayman?" "Yes, this is she." "This is Carrie from U. of so and so. I am calling because I need your consent to do a background check for the O.S.S. position." "OOOH, yes." "You need to go to your email, and open up the Background Check consent. Fill it out and hit save. It will come back here, automatically." "Ok, no problem." "Ok, have a good day." "You too! Thank you!" CLICK. I proceeded to jump up and down, waving my arms so wildly, I almost knocked over a coat rack. I could not contain the energy from my excitement. Finally, after four months, I had gotten somewhere. It was a step in the right direction. I still didn't have the job.
        A day passed, and I had no word from the University. I considered writing them, but I figured I would give them a few days. Then, today, I open my email to see what I'd gotten. Lo and behold, my interviewer had messaged me. She just wanted to let me know where we were in the hiring process, and it would be a couple days before they got the results back. Thank you for your patience, she said. I sent her a message in return, stating that I was more than happy to be patient for such an excellent position. Approximately an hour later, she sent back the best news I have ever received: "Good news, Cayman. We'd like to offer you the position...Let me know when you can start. Have a great weekend." I was ecstatic! Normally, I am very logical about my reactions. This was in no way logical. I ran around the house like a dog straight out of the bathtub. Then I called everyone I knew. They congratulated me, of course, but even the congratulations could not ebb my awesome excitement at the news. I could not be tamed!
       Anyways, all of this is to say, with a little prayer and dedication, you can do anything! Even if it takes months. Thank you for your time.

Dogs Are Man's Best Friend

Today, I happened upon a very interesting thought. Everyone, I'm sure, is familiar with the statement "Dogs are man's best friend." I doubt anyone has ever stopped to ponder this statement, though. Surely, it is true because of a dog's innate nature. They are loyal, loving, and playful! Everything a man needs. They don't talk back; they don't give a shit. They even seem to understand exactly what you want from them, and strive to succeed. However, I was thinking today, dog's are really a woman's best friend. Then it hit me! That's why men like dog's so much. They take care of everything a man doesn't want to do! Dogs are the perfect PMS buddy. When you are sniveling because your hormones are just out of whack, your man does not want to be a part of that. A dog, on the other hand, is most assuredly right there by your side, looking at you with those adoring eyes, hanging on your every sob.

When you are laying on the couch because the cramps are making it less desirable to walk to the bathroom to retrieve Tylenol/Pamprin, your dog is there to offer himself as a heating pad. Probably he just wants to be close to you because you sound like a dying squirrel; regardless, your man is probably no where in sight. Can you really blame the guy? You bleed for a week, and you're still alive! I'd be afraid of that, too, if it weren't taking place inside MY body. Anyways, the point is, maybe dogs are man's best friend because they can take care of what men are most afraid of...women. Everyone also knows, a happy home consists of a happy wife.